CARYL DRABBLE
by alidaversa
Summary: A thirty day Caryl drabble I decided to do. It takes place behind the scenes of the walking dead, all the moments that I wish we could have gotten. Leads to eventual, and much needed smut.
1. Chapter 1

"_A man of honor."_

Those words stuck in his head all throughout the winter. It stuck with him because Carol thought Rick, Rick fuckin' Grimes wasn't a man of honor. She thought Daryl was the one who should lead them, or the very least, take Carol and what, run off into the apocalyptic sunset?

"Fat chance." he mumbled, not intending to say it out loud. He looked around and to his lack of surprise, Carol had heard him. "Sorry, was just thinkin' out loud."

"About what?" she smiled in that sweet way of his that he hated, because it always got under his skin.

"Nothin' important." but before she even answered he knew that she would not let it go. She never let him get away with things like that, not anymore, not after everything that they had been through.

"You did good on dinner tonight." she told him, motioning to the array of woodland creatures Daryl had managed to track down that evening. "If you keep going like this, we might have to get out of the state, you'll wipe out all the animals."

Daryl humphed and took a bite out of his fire ready meat. It all tasted the same to him now, no matter what he ate. Food was food, and so long as it gave him enough energy to keep going, that was good enough for him.

"Ain't enough," he mumbled. "Not with Lori havin' tiny Shane in her."

"Daryl!" Carol hissed, but she didn't scold him too much. "Well either way, you know she appreciates it. We all do. Hide your face behind your crossbow all you'd like, people love you here."

He snorted. "Shut up."

Carol smiled and shook her head, licking her fingers. It looked all too appealing to Daryl who hadn't counted on getting a hard on in the zombie apocalypse...but that was until Carol. She made him feel too much, physically and emotionally. That often resulted in him either clamming up or being a complete jackass...usually the latter.

She stood up, Daryl forcing himself not to look at her as she walked over to him. She kissed the top of his head, like she had done once before when he was injured back at the farm. He flinched, just as he had then, listening to her soft voice say those kind words,

"I know I'm right about you Daryl Dixion. You are a good man."


	2. Chapter 2

Carol was being very sure to do her best to prove to the others that she was not the same, scared woman that she once was. Sure, she had lost her husband and her daughter, but she had a family to take care of now too. One of them included a very pregnant woman, who was in the worse situation, having to take care of herself during the zombie apocalypse.

She wasn't the best shooter, but she was learning. First on her own, for a long time, but then Rick started helping her a little, and when he asked her why she wouldn't go on and practice with the others, she would blush and turn away and he wouldn't press it.

Sure, she was doing it for herself, she was. But, she wanted to be strong for someone else too, for Daryl. He was always looking out for her, and she wanted to be sure that he could rely on her for some things too. She knew he probably wouldn't, but she wanted the offer to be out there all the same.

That's what she was doing tonight. She had taken his crossbow and started shooting arrows from it, the chilly winter air hitting her pale skin. When the arrow struck the tree, she frowned as it had not hit the target. What did follow however, was a chuckle.

She turned and smiled sheepishly at Daryl who was watching from behind. "Sorry," she raised his crossbow in defeat.

"Nah, it's alright. Figured it was you." he cocked his head, his arms tucked into each other, his hands so deep under his armpits she wasn't sure that it was actually comfortable. "Rick told me you've been runnin' off in the night, learnin' how to do this." he tilted his head forward. "Coulda just asked."

"I wanted to do it myself." she said with dignity, bringing it to him.

He grabbed the crossbow from her, but his fingers lingered over her hand. She wasn't too sure that he was aware of it, partially because that was not something that Daryl Dixon did, and also because it was so light she couldn't tell if she was just making it up in her head.

But he didn't pull away.

"You know," he murmured. "I was wrong about you."

"What?" she asked.

"Used to think you were just some woman, comin' along with us because that was all she knew. You're different now. You were strong then too," his eyes darkened and she knew he was referring to her putting up with her ex-husband as long as she did. "But you're a different kind of strong now. Looks good on you too."

He walked away with his crossbow, leaving Carol on cloud nine.


	3. Chapter 3

Carol was holding Daryl's crossbow up. Now that he had found out about her midnight escapades with his crossbow he had started joining her. They were in the sun today, Daryl asked her to help him hunt.

"Little higher." he tapped the crossbow. "Make sure the peep hole is right up to your eye."

"Right." she murmured. "Except, I don't see any animals around."

"We're making too much noise." he murmured, running his hand through his hair. "This is one bad winter."

"Yeah," Carol put down the bow and handed it to him. "One bad winter."

He walked along with her in silence for a bit more, but it didn't bother him. He and Carol had that relationship, neither one of them had to talk for the other to understand what they wanted. Unfortunately, sometimes that silence took hold of him so much that he often forgot he was alone. So when Carol's foot got stuck in a hole and she yelped in surprise, it brought him back down to earth.

"You alright?" he asked worriedly, grabbing her by the arm and trying to pull her out.

She laughed, holding onto his shoulders for a better grip. "Yeah, I'm good." she steadied herself. "Hold on, I need you to stand still."

"What're you gonna do?" he mumbled, watching them squirm. "Take me down with you?"

"If you want to go down on me Daryl, all you gotta do is ask."

"Shut up." he put his hands under her armpits. "Ready?"

"Your hands need to be a little lower if you're gonna go down, Daryl."

He stared at her with a deadpan expression. "You done?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm done."

"Alright, one, two, _three_." he pulled her up while she pushed on his shoulders to help herself out of the hole. Daryl's strength however surprised them both and when he yanked her out, he lifted her high enough that, instinct struck Carol and she wrapped her legs around his hips.

"Well," she said, taller than him now by a bit, her hands still gripping him. "Try and tell me this isn't a sign, Dixon."

"It ain't." he snapped, but Carol saw the blush rising up his neck. She laughed and undid herself from him, looking down at her ankle.

"You okay?" he asked, leaning down to look at it. He touched the soft skin, looking up at her from below.

"I'm okay." she smiled. _Because you, Daryl Dixon, cancel out the hurt._


	4. Chapter 4

"Don't." he said, stepping past her.

"Daryl, _come on_." she snapped, Carol's temper was rising. They were walking around in the forest, Rick and Carl taking one way while they had taken the other. "I'm just joking." she had made another one of her jokes, attempting to lighten the mood with them, but it only seemed to send him away from her.

"Don't make them." he growled.

"Tell me they make you uncomfortable." she challenged. "Tell me and I'll stop." But Daryl didn't say anything so Carol just threw her hands up in frustration. "I don't know what you want from me Daryl. "I don't know how you think these things are supposed to go, but whatever it is you want from me, you need to lower your expectations because I−_Daryl_." she breathed, because he had surprised her by pushing her up against a tree.

"Do you know how hard this is for me?" he growled, his voice low. She _almost_ made another joke, but she decided to keep her mouth shut. "Do you know what I think of every time you make one of your stupid jokes? Believe me; you wouldn't want to be with someone who...thinks the way I do."

"Daryl," Carol smiled lightly. "If we're thinking about the same things, don't you think that might be a good thing?"

"It's different." he shook his head, letting his hands drop. "You don't understand."

"Explain it to me then." she said seriously.

He sighed and waved his hands around like he did when he was angry. "Merle made me think of things like this," he pointed between the two of them, "In only one way. I'm tryin' to do things how I want now."

"Which is how?"

"Proper like...respectfully." he looked down, as though he had said something shameful. "I...I want you Carol, I just need time."

Carol sighed but she was smiling. "Chin up Daryl, we have some hunting to do."

Thankfully, Daryl smiled back.


	5. Chapter 5

**thank you to everyone who is following and reviewed, i love reading all of it :D**

* * *

"Alright!" Daryl nodded in approval. "I told you didn't I? Told you, you could do it." he tapped his forehead walking over to the squirrel that had been pinned to the tree with his arrow. "Just gotta put your mind to it."

Carol lowered the crossbow, grinning. "I think I'll still stick to my knives."

"Gotta learn to use a gun," he gave her back the arrow and hooked the squirrel on with the others. "Can't go on forever without knowing."

"You'd be surprised." she handed him his crossbow, Daryl slipped it over himself. "Come on, let's get back, Rick didn't want us gone too long."

They walked along, side by side, Daryl looking sideways at Carol. "Real proud of you." he told her quietly.

Carol smiled, she liked the progress they were making, it was taking a long time, sure, but Daryl was all about taking his time with people. It was killing things that came easy to him, but feelings? Relationships? No way. He was just glad that she was a mature woman who understood these things, otherwise he would have been fucked a long time ago. He had walked on thin ice when they had been at the farm a few months back, he was glad that she managed to put up with him. Rick did too, but that was different, Rick needed him in different ways. This woman, god, she would probably follow him to the ends of the earth.

"Well I'm proud of you." she bumped him with her elbow. "You're a good teacher."

"Well, ain't so hard." he shrugged. "Havin' a good student." then he put up his hand to make sure she didn't speak. "If you make some joke right now about student-teacher relationships I'll shoot you."

Carol laughed, it was loud and beautiful and sent a shiver running through his body. He blamed it on the winter air. "You're learning all my tricks!"

"Yeah, well, you're easy to figure out." he mumbled.

Before he could change his mind, or hit himself for this thoughts, he swooped in and gave her a light kiss on the cheek. She froze, but only because she was surprised, and Daryl wondered if he had made it last too long. Was his stubble scratching her?

He cleared his throat as he pulled away, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um...yeah, so, good job." he walked away quickly, sighing in relief when Rick waved at him from the distance.


	6. Chapter 6

**some thanks:**

**kawinki: i hope you are not sad anymore, and im sending you hugs!**

**therealsonia: i think he could be cuter and when he does i might just die  
**

**vickih: thanks!  
**

**axelrocks: thank you for all your reviews, i love, love them. **

**guest: thank you very much for the compliments!**

**kitty momma: i will try my best**

Carol was _not_ going to apologize.

He could stay mad all he wanted, but they both knew that she was right, he was just being stubborn like usual. That was the problem with Daryl, being wrong was not something he was accustomed too, and when he _was _wrong, well god freaking forbid he would ever admit to it.

"I just don't get it." she sighed, crumpling up the map in agitation.

Daryl was about to lose his mind. "Don't even fuckin' start."

"Look, I told you where to turn; now the others are going to panic and wonder where we are."

He was leaning against his bike, looking like someone who could fit in a southern magazine. "They won't worry."

Right, she thought bitterly, Rick Grimes of all people would not worry about them. The winter was nearing an end, sure, but that didn't mean that Rick's attitude was improving. He and Lori were having too many problems that Carol didn't want to know about, and Carol was Lori's buffer. Now, she was lost with Dixon, who wouldn't admit that she was right and that they should have turned when she told him too.

"How did you even lose them in the first place." she snapped, trying to read the map.

"It's a complicated road."

"It's not." she mumbled. "And we have three cars, I don't understand how you, the tracker, lost sight of all three of them." she looked up to the skies, praying. "Oh my god, this is how I'll die. Stranded on the side of the road with someone who isn't making any effort to help."

"Read the map." he mumbled.

"Why don't you read the map." she snapped. "You know the woods like the back of your hand but you can't read a road sign?" Daryl was smiling at her, and that only made her angrier. "What are you laughing at?" she growled.

"You."

Carol rolled her eyes. "Well I know that."

"So why'd you ask then?"

She wanted to hit him. "I meant, _why are you laughing at me_?"

"Because, Rick asked me to lose them." he chuckled. "He wants you to learn to read that thing, just in case."

Carol sighed. "This is a test? You couldn't mention that before?"

"It's funny seeing you squirm."

Carol rolled her eyes. "Why do I need to do this for? We all travel together; no one goes on runs alone."

"I do." Daryl said, and his face got so serious that Carol knew it was not only Rick who had come up with this little test. "If somethin' happens to me, you gotta know what to do when you're out here."

"Nothing is going to happen to either of us Daryl."

"Somethin' will, one day. You gotta be prepared, that way you don't need me all the time."

"I like needing you."

Daryl smiled lightly. "I like it too...most of the time."

Carol sighed, realising his heart was in the right place. "All right...let's get this over with. Start your bike."


	7. Chapter 7

"Why do you gotta make things harder than they need to be?" Daryl yelled. He and Carol were in a house on a run, taking what they needed. He didn't even know how they had started an argument with each other, honestly, he hadn't. She probably made a sexual joke, and it didn't bother him but he had to pretend like it did, and somehow that ended up on them attacking each other with their words.

"What is you yelling at me going to do?" she snapped. "You do nothing about your feelings, ever, unless of course it's with Rick and you guys need a bromantic moment alone together. If I didn't know any better I'd say that's the real romance going on here."

"Shut up, you don't even know what you're sayin'." he growled, throwing some things into his bag. "You want too much, you know that?"

She laughed out loud; Daryl just wanted this winter to be over. "Oh, I want too much? I just want something more out of you than smiles or words."

"What the hell do you want then!" he threw his things across the room and yelled in her face. He hadn't felt this angry in a long, long time.

"I want you to show me what you feel, not say it with your words or say you need time. Prove it to me, right fuc−"

He pushed her against the wall and smashed his mouth against hers, roughly, inexperienced and full of heat. She took it back, every piece of it, committing his smell and his taste to her memory. He was delicious, his tongue slicking over her bottom lip before mixing in with hers. It was too good to be true, his hands on her body, her hands in his hair, there was so much of him and she didn't think he would have done it, not now when she was unprepared.

When he pulled away he bit her bottom lip lightly, and she stared at him feeling like she just had an out of body experience.

"That's all you'll be gettin' for a while." he took his things from the floor. "Think I proved my point just fine."


	8. Chapter 8

Carol had been pretty pissed for the remainder of the winter. Dixon's dumb words had sat in her head of not giving her anything else, and that burned her. What the hell was the point of kissing her if he wasn't going to continue doing it? Worse, if he wanted to kiss her, what the hell was the point of withholding himself? If they both wanted to kiss each other, shouldn't they be doing that?

It was so unbearably stupid.

But she couldn't be cruel to him like he was to her. Not that he was cruel, maybe that wasn't the right word. Insecure, maybe, low self esteem definitely. Was that why he did what he did? It wasn't like she could ask, like Daryl Dixon would tell her his feelings. They didn't talk about that too much, they said a couple of words on the subject of feelings every now and again but it's not like the conversation ever developed. They were just two people attracted to each other, thrown into a shitty world in which one of them was acting pretty shitty.

But Carol was going to change things for them tonight. He was massaging her shoulder, because they were friends and apparently that was a thing friends did for each other. Honestly though, she was glad for it, that damn gun had taken enough of a toll on her to make her sore.

So she breathed in heavily and turned around swiftly, grabbing him by the collar of his leather vest, pulling him close and crashing their lips together. Daryl immediately tensed, his lips didn't respond, but he didn't push her away and god if there was anything better than that, she didn't know what it was. She kissed him hard, and he didn't open his mouth, he didn't touch her or anything. But that was okay with her. Kissing him like this was enough.

She pulled away and grinned stupidly at him. "You don't get to make the rules." she told him.

Surprising her, Daryl handed her the small grin he was known for. "Good to know." he mumbled. He took her hand in his.


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl would be lying if he had said he hadn't wondered what this would be like, being comfortable around Carol. He had thought about it almost every day, especially since he had made the stupid move in the winter of telling Carol she would be getting nothing out of him. Thank God she had changed that.

They had stolen only one moment together since their arrival at the prison. They had all slept soundly when they cleared out block C, but Daryl, as per usual, was up before all the rest of them. He had woken Carol up to follow him, eager for her company, but of course had to play it in his nonchalant way. She came with him anyway, like she always did.

They had made their way to the guard tower, Daryl thought about mentioning it to Glenn and Maggie later, he was sure that they were probably itching for some time spent alone together. But Daryl didn't bring her up here to have sex with her, no, _no_; he was in no way ready for that. Not yet, not this soon. Sure, for Carol it might have seemed like a long time, but Daryl was not nearly emotionally stable enough to give himself to her just yet.

"Sit down," he got down, his legs hanging over the side of the tower like a child. "Watch the sun rise."

She did as she was told, sitting down and gently placing her hand on his. He didn't mind it, it was really warm. "It's beautiful." she sighed, looking at all the colors mix together.

"Kinda makes you forget about everythin', doesn't it?"

"Not everything." she murmured, turning his face towards her. Ever so confident, she moved in and pressed her lips against his, but this time, Daryl was ready for her. He didn't move the rest of his body, for fear that he might accidentally push them over the edge with his eagerness, but his lips moved enough for his satisfaction. His slid his tongue between her lips; their mouths open wide, because there wasn't enough for either of them. Her hands were messing his hair, pulling at the ends, driving Daryl completely wild. Daryl didn't move his hands; there was no telling where he might put them.

"Breathe," he chuckled, pulling away. "I brought you here to see the sun."

"The sun is always going to be there." she mumbled, caressing his face.

Daryl frowned and took her hand, feeling out of character as he kissed her hand lightly. "So will I."


	10. Chapter 10

Daryl was broken.

He was sitting in one of the halls of the prison, clutching Carol's knife, stabbing the floor over and over again. Like that would do any good to him. He was watching the door throw itself open pathetically, some half dead zombie on the other side trying to push its way through maybe, but not enough in him to make himself useful.

Carol was dead, Lori was dead and T-Dog was dead.

All he had to do was protect her, that had been his duty since the farm, one he had put on himself maybe, but his duty all the same. And God he couldn't even fucking do that. What good was he, if he could not do the one damn thing that he told himself to do. Sure, he could kill walkers anywhere but he can't protect the woman he...the woman...

He snapped, the blade going into the wall a few times before he stood up, kicking the door angrily. God damn he was mad, he had never really told her how he felt, he had never shown her properly. It was always her, because she was smart, because she knew that there was not enough time to take things slow. What was he doing, he was walking around in circles in a hallway, because he couldn't save people. He couldn't save his brother, he couldn't save Carol...

He needed to kill something.

He removed the bodies in front of the door and kicked the door again before throwing it open. He looked around for half a second before his eyes shifted downwards. Carol was there, looking up at him, _alive_. He breathed out, overwhelmed with relief and touched her chin.

"You look like a mess." she said.

Daryl grinned and put one arm under her legs, the other around her back. "I'm better now." he whispered to her.


	11. Chapter 11

Carol was holding Judith, watching everyone get ready for their trip to the governor's town in Woodbury to save Glenn and Maggie. She looked down at Judith and smiled, watching Daryl come out with his crossbow, looking at her sincerely. She smiled at him as he came up to her, his hand landing on the small of her back.

"Are you okay?" Carol asked.

"Yeah," he frowned. "I should be asking you that."

"I'm not the one who is going off to war right now."  
"I'm not going off to anything." he murmured. "Just goin' to get them back is all. You're the one who needs to get better."

"I'm okay Daryl, honestly. Thanks to you."

He shrugged, swooping in for a gentle kiss on her lips. It had been the first one that they had shared since he had found her, but it wasn't to the extent and passion that she had been hoping for. It was like he was so scared to hurt her, like anything would just send her back to the fragile state she was in before. Of course, it wouldn't, and god if he would just kiss her the way that she knew that he could, she would feel like things were back to normal.

"Just come back to me." she told him as he pulled away.

Daryl smiled at her softly, leaning down to kiss Judith's forehead. Carol's heart swelled, she loved his tender side, especially with Judith.

"I'll come back." he kissed her cheek. "Always do." he looked at her sternly. "Stay safe."

"Nine lives, remember?"


	12. Chapter 12

"I wish I was drunk." Daryl said.

Carol grinned from her spot on the chair in the cell block. He had only just returned, and she was keeping her distance even though she had voiced her gratitude for his return.

She laughed. "Why's that?" she asked.

"Make things a lot easier." he murmured. "We can never catch a break."

"We could." she said. "You don't need a drink to make yourself catch a break. There's other ways."

"Got any ideas?"

"Yes, I do." she laughed, getting up. Daryl tensed, but watched her come over to him gracefully. His heart was picking up speed, going up to his throat. What was he supposed to do, was he supposed to stop her, say something? Christ, he didn't know how to act in these situations. Suddenly, she was sitting by him and her face was close to his, and their breath was mixing.

"What are you doin'?" he asked.

"Giving you a break, a welcome home present." she grinned, pressing her lips to his. Daryl expected himself to be tense for it, but he felt himself melting into it. God, he had missed her, he really, really had. Thinking about her and Rick had nearly sent him over the edge of madness in the woods with Merle, but now he was home and she was _touching him_. Her hand was trailing down his chest, going into his pants. She grabbed him before he could protest, and he gasped into her mouth. This was so much, this was _too _much.

But God, he was definitely happy to be back. So he let Carol give him a break.

And then he gave her one.


	13. Chapter 13

Merle was laughing even though Daryl had punched him in the face for making a stupid move on Carol. He wanted to hurt him, to make him feel so much pain that it would rip him from the inside out.

Carol was pulling him away, forcing him outside. He was yelling some nasty things, none at her, but his mind was in a whirlwind.

"Son of a bitch, he thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants!" he waved his hands around like he did when he was angry.

Carol was trying hard to hide her grin. She very much enjoyed the way he got jealous over her, she found it quite flattering. She only hoped that it did not push it over the edge every so often.

"Relax Daryl." she crossed her arms. "He's just teasing."

"No, he ain't, and that's the problem." he mumbled, kicking a rock away. "He does this all the time, tryin' to make people see that he's better than me."

Carol snorted. "That would take years of work, and even then, I don't think he can be a better man than you."

"That ain't what I mean." he snapped, then looked away. "I mean with _other_ stuff." he mumbled shyly, blush rising up his neck.

Carol sighed, and walked over to Daryl, taking his hand. It made her very sad to know that his self confidence with her or anyone was short lived, unless it was about hunting down something or someone. But when it came to him as a person, and the beautiful human that he was on the inside and the out, he was unable to believe anything good about himself.

"Even if he was better, which he isn't," she whispered, kissing his neck. His eyes were fluttering. "I would still choose you."

He snorted. "You say that now."

"I'll say that forever." she said seriously, kissing him lightly.

"You sure you ain't just stubborn?" but he was smiling when he said it, and wrapping his arms around her.


	14. Chapter 14

Daryl bolted awake, his dreams getting the better of him again. He whipped his legs over the bed, knocking over his crossbow, scaring himself. Carol who had taken the bunk over him, jolted up with him, scared by the noise.

"What's wrong?" she whispered from above.

"Nothing," he lied. "Go back to bed."

But of course, she didn't. She used the small ladder to come down and stare at him, sitting next to him on the bed. Carol noticed everything, even in the dark. She touched him, noticing he was sweating, she felt his heartbeat and knew it was going too fast.

"Nightmares again?" she whispered, holding his hand.

He nodded, then remembered she couldn't see that, and whispered. "Yeah, Merle..."

She held his hand tighter, and he felt brave in the darkness despite his state, and brought it up to his lips and kissed it. She was here, and he was okay, but his brother was dead, and now, so was a piece of him. Because no matter how much Merle pissed him off, he was his brother, and he was family.

"I'm so sorry." she kissed his shoulder.

"Me too." he sighed, refusing to cry again. "Just wish I could stop seeing it."

"I know. Soon you will, I promise."

He turned his head and found her lips in the darkness, kissing them softly, trying to make his pain go away. It did a little, because at least, through all of this, they were awake and breathing, and for now that had to be enough.


	15. Chapter 15

When Daryl returned with Rick after Andrea's death and their bringing home of the people from the town of Woodbury, Daryl marched right up to where Carol had been and pushed her back into the cell. He was desperate now, tired and sad and just wanted to escape everything bad. This was his desperation in action. They had finished with everything, and he didn't know what happened to the governor now, but what he did know now was that he needed just a little bit of time to feel like he could forget about all the shitty things that were happening to him.

"Daryl, what's wrong?" she asked as she watched him close the door; cover it with blankets so no one could see them.

"I gotta..." he looked around him, running his hand through his hair. "I need...you." he said finally. "I need to forget. I need to feel." he put his hands out before him, because he couldn't find the words. "I need to feel okay."

Carol smiled softly. "Come here."

Daryl sighed and walked up to her in agony, taking her face in his hands and kissing her properly, like he had never done before. He shoved his tongue in her mouth and felt every bit of her, his hands going all over the place. She seemed to want it just as much as him, which was an ego booster on his part. Within less than a minute they were stumbling over each other, removing their clothes and squishing themselves on the tiny bed.

"We need to be quiet." she sighed. He could tell that she was surprised that he had given over his naked body to her so suddenly. He knew that she had not expected this.

"Not sure that's possible." he grinned, kissing her again before he slipped into her.


	16. Chapter 16

"I want to just punch you in the damn face sometimes." Carol murmured, shaking her head as she bandaged Daryl's ankle. It was a few weeks after Andrea's death, and Rick was in his own world, no gun, no going out on trips. It was up to Daryl to do everything now, which unfortunately for Carol, he didn't disagree to it. Daryl was always more than willing to step up when Rick needed him; honest to god if Daryl didn't love Carol, then he would love Rick.

"I didn't ask you to do this." he was grinning at her.

"Stop smiling at me."

"It's hard not to." he checked the bandage. "Honest, I'm fine."

"You almost broke your ankle." she pinched his knee, but he didn't respond to it, he only kept smiling down at her.

"But I didn't, did I?"

"You should ask Rick for help."

"I don't need Rick's help, Rick needs mine." he swatted her hand away gently and leaned down to kiss her forehead, distracting her so he could reach behind her for his crossbow. He grabbed it and twisted himself off the bed and grabbed his boot, slipping it on.

"Rest on it please!" she held out her hands, waiting for him to fall.

"Relax Carol." he grinned, tying his boots. "You know, if you're so worried, you can just come on with me."

Carol grinned. "Do you think we can make a few pit stops on the way?" she grinned, kissing his lips.

"Dunno," he kissed her back eagerly. "If you keep doin' this, I might not even leave the room."


	17. Chapter 17

"Do you ever wish that you didn't love me?" Daryl asked sadly, looking out at the horizon. He and Carol were on watch today, mostly because they both decided they need time away from the group. Everyone was getting up in their space lately, which was really annoying for the two of them. Rick was the only one trying to give them space, sure, he came to Daryl often though to ask for help with things, but Daryl didn't mind that.

"That's a stupid question." Carol told him, elbowing his side.

Daryl frowned. "I'm serious."

"Why?" Carol asked.

Daryl paused, thinking. Everyone from the govenor's town was settling in the prison now, and so Daryl had to take time to get to know everyone. He got a little nervous with some of them at the beginning, but he was getting a little better at it now. Only a few times he had lost his temper, but mostly everyone seemed to like him. He just always felt self conscious especially when his temper rose. He didn't quite understand how Carol could appreciate him.

"I ain't always so good." he said lamely.

"Are we back here?" she asked sadly. "I thought you would realise by now what we are."

"I do, I just don't get it." he said honestly.

"Well that's why you have me." she pinched his knee, forcing him to smile. "I make you remember."

"That doesn't answer my question though."

"I love being in love with you." she kissed his cheek. "And I won't ever stop."

Daryl held her hand. God, he was lucky.


	18. Chapter 18

Carol felt bad for him, sitting on top of the guard tower with him, holding hands. He had just asked if she regretted being in love with him, and for that she pitied him. She could not tell him that obviously, mostly because that would create an unnecessary argument between the two of them. She hated this, him thinking that no matter what they went through or whatever they said, he would always have doubts that she didn't mean what she said.

"Why don't you ever believe me?" she asked quietly, despite her thoughts she just had.

"Bout what?" he asked.

"Anything," she sighed. "You're the person I've been with since the start, since the moment Ed died, I stuck to you, and you never believe that I love you."

"I believe it." he said with a small frown, shrugging. "I'm just not sure I always understand it."

Carol put her head on his shoulders. "You really don't see how amazing you are."

"Guess not, not the way you do anyway."

"Rick thinks of you in the same light you know."

"If Rick is in love with me than I have bigger problems," he mumbled and Carol looked up, glad to see that he was smiling. "Nah, I know you love me." he kissed her hair. "We just all have bad days I guess, this is one of mine."

Carol touched his face. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." he kissed her head again. "Just glad I have someone who doesn't leave me in my bad days."

"Never have, never will."


	19. Chapter 19

"Just leave me alone," Daryl snapped. "This isn't about you."

Carol sighed loudly. Sometimes, she forgot just how hard it was sometimes to deal with Daryl Dixon. As much as she loved him, he was beyond stubborn, and every time something bad happened, he shut down and closed up.

"I know it's not, and I'm not trying to make it about me. But you need to let me in." she told him, sitting on the floor, watching the man she loved sitting on his bed, his head in his hands.

"Why are you here?" he muttered.

"You've asked me that a few times before," she told him. "And I am not going anywhere."

"I ain't good for you," he said. "I couldn't even protect that stupid kid out there today! It's barely a month since the governor, and a kid _died_ ironically, by the way, getting a sign that said: Days without an accident."

"Daryl," she frowned. "It's not your fault."

"I was supposed to protect him."

"And you did what you could."

"Rick said that too." he huffed, reaching inside the pocket of his vest. He took a packet of cigarettes out and lit one up, looking at her tiredly. "I just wanna be alone." he said softly. "Nothin' against you, I swear. I just...I need to just be..."

"Sad." Carol shrugged. "I get it."

"Yeah."

Carol nodded and got up from the floor, walking over to him to give him a kiss on the forehead. "You can be sad, but remember that you are good."

Daryl nodded, his fingers flittering over her hand before she left.


	20. Chapter 20

"Jesus Christ," Daryl clutched the blankets around him. "Oh hell, Carol, I hate you."

Carol grinned, kissing him everywhere around the point he wanted to be kissed. She then manoeuvred her way back up to him, trailing kisses all along his scarred, beautiful torso. She made it back up to his lips and kissed them softly.

"I love you too."

"You're fucking killing me." he whispered, taking her face and kissing her thoroughly. He inhaled deeply, and she grinned into the kissed, because she loved the way he kissed her like she was air and he couldn't breathe.

"It's what I do, babe."

"Usually I'm the one who gives you tough love." he breathed, hot into her mouth.

"Emotionally," she grinned, and laughed as he pinched her butt. "But I get to take control here."

Daryl flipped her over and set his hips down so he trapped her. He kissed her neck, all the way up to her ear. "You sure about that?" It was dark and messy and hot and heavy, and they were so close that neither one of them knew who was really in control anyhow.

"I know I am." Carol's hand trailed over his hipbones.

"You're a little too confident." he kissed her again.

"No, I just know how to make you happy." Carol grinned. "You didn't want to talk, so we're not going to talk."

Daryl grinned. "That's fine by me."


	21. Chapter 21

"Sorry Pookie." Carol joked, grinning as Daryl nudged her with his arm.

Daryl shook his head and then stood a little closer to her. "You gonna come with us today on the run?" he asked.

"No, I think there's too much to do here."

"Like what?" he frowned.

She lowered her voice and put her hand on his shoulder. "I was thinking about teaching the kids about knives today."

"Still not gonna tell Rick?"

"No, I don't think so." she sighed. "I don't think he's ready for that information."

"I don't like keepin' things from Rick." he bit his lip, lowering his gaze for a moment.

"It's not for long." she promised him. "I'll tell him."

He stared at her. "You sure you're able to even do this?" he asked her, but she found a small grin in his face, and found that he was teasing. "Didn't know you knew too much about knives and stuff."

"Oh I know all about how to handle a weapon." she grinned grabbing his crotch through his pants.

Daryl grunted and grabbed her wrist. "We are in _public_." he hissed.

Carol laughed and let go. "Just be careful today," she put her jokes aside for him. "Don't get into trouble."

"I never do." he kissed her forehead.


	22. Chapter 22

"I hate myself." Daryl whispered, shaking his head as he dropped it in his hands.

Carol was rubbing his back, her lips repeatedly kissing his shoulders. He was not harmed, thank God, at least not on the outside. Inside though, Carol could see he was destroyed, that run had not helped him, and telling Beth what happened to her boyfriend had only made everything worse for him.

"It's not your fault." Carol told him softly. "You have to know that."

"I didn't even _move_."

"He was gone before you could have gotten to him." she moved his hair, then turned his face so they were looking at each other. "I am sorry about what happened, but you cannot blame yourself."

"Who else can I blame?"

"No one, or the walkers, or fate." she shrugged. "But Daryl, you cannot save everyone."

"That's my job." he whispered, putting their foreheads together.

"Your job is to stay alive, and stay with me."

He sighed softly and kissed her lightly, but it broke her heart. "I think I can do that."

"You better." she took his hand and kissed it too. "You cannot hate yourself, you are too good for anyone to hate. Look at everything you have done for this place, for these people."

"But Zack−"

"Zack died saving Bob." she said. "And you have put your life on the line over and over again for these people. Zack looked up to you, they all did. He went out the way he would have wanted to, the way you would have respected."

Daryl sighed and kissed her again. "Thanks. Can we...can we just sleep?"

"Sure." she said.

Daryl smiled sadly and pushed himself back on the bunk, his back to the wall, pulling Carol close to him so that her back was pressed against his chest. He curled his arm around her torso, and she held his hand tightly in his.

"I love you." he whispered.

"I love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

"You alright?" Carol said as she leaned against the wall.

Daryl nodded. "Gotta be." he bit the inside of his lip before leaning against the wall with her. "This whole day has gone to shit."

"You're telling me." she sighed, tilting her head back.

Daryl nudged her lightly. "You did good though," he said softly. "You've been really taking control lately, I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, pookie." she pinched him playfully.

"Stop calling me that."

She grinned because he was trying not to grin and then pushed herself off the wall. She walked in front of him and collapsed in his arms, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, breathing out softly, his head in the crook of her neck. They just stayed like that, for how long, neither one of them knew, but God it felt good. They were both possibly infected by the sickness that had started overnight, and now, everything was just going to go downwards, they could both feel it in them. But for now, this would have to be enough to get them through the days, each other.

"Wear a mask when you go out."

"Yeah, Hershel already said." he kissed her neck. "You gonna go check on the kids."

"Yup." then she whispered softly. "I'm really glad you didn't die."

"I ain't done with you yet." was his lovely answer.


	24. Chapter 24

For a very long time, after she drove away from Rick, Carol sat in the car. She already had a plan of course, she would go back to the prison soon, give Rick enough time to return first before she would come back. She would make up a story, they got separated on the run or something. She knew she would have to go back, because Daryl loved Rick, yes, but he would be furious that he had done this without confronting her in front of Daryl first. It would not sit well with him.

What if it did? What if Daryl decided he hated her all of a sudden, and from then on, she would really be on her own and everything would change. No, she thought quickly. This was her family, and not even Rick wanted to send her away, she had seen that in his eyes. It was unfair too, what he did, considering everything the others had done. But, he was conflicted, and he didn't know what else to do, and he thought she could survive. She wasn't holding a grudge, she knew Rick, not as well as Daryl knew him maybe, but she knew that he was just trying to do the right thing.

But she would go back, because even if Daryl hated her, he needed to hear from her. For two people who loved each other, it was important that one of them says goodbye.


	25. Chapter 25

Daryl sat in the trunk of the car with Beth, his crossbow pointed at the small space that gave them the tiniest of views to the outside. Neither one of them were talking, they were simply sitting there, waiting for the herd to pass.

He was so tired, and god, he missed her.

He had been angry at Rick, so angry at what he had done to Carol, letting her go off on her own. And now, everything was terrible, everything was gone, and it was him and Beth and not only did he not have Carol, but he didn't have Rick.

How had it come to this? This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to live in that prison until they died of old age, and that's it.

Carol had done something that she thought was right. Hell, once upon a time, Daryl thought it was right. He said it from day one, zero tolerance for walkers, and Karen and David were dying. Carol was trying to help, in her own way.

It reminded him of himself.

But they had both changed, the world though, didn't.

And now he was stuck in a car with Beth, who he had to protect, because Jesus Christ, if he couldn't protect the one person he had left, what the fuck was the point of anything?

He only hoped that things would get better.

Maybe Carol would find him.


End file.
